What do you know i slacked off again!

Well well well are we really surprised that I have once again slacked off.....nahhh not really! :) but you get that.. I'm not phased and I'm positive you aren't sitting by your computers waiting for another post from me! and honestly if you are hmmmmmmmmmmmm.... no comment!

I have been sick first it was gout in my little finger! Loved it! then tonsillitis and now a chest infection dang did I pee someone off! I have a husky voice and a bark like a dog which one would presume suits considering the fact that I can be a b@#%ch (female dog I mean) LOL.

I have been playing for my play week but haven't come up with anythnig worthwhile for my blog afterall it can be nothing less than utter perfection....bc I type so good and speak good engish it betta be! Ok I have plans which involve my pussy-cat (heh nothing rude) and some quotes just got to find some funny-ass pics!

I have also been moping (?) about because things have gotten really bad with my mum and it's just ain't fair. I know life ain't fair but it's supposed to be for me! The cancer has spread through all her major organs and has now spread into her bones starting with her spine. The docs have given her 3 months, how are you supposed to deal with that. As much as I know my mum loves me and she knows that I love her and there is never enough time, its just too much..too fast. She's only 51, she won't see my kids graduate school let alone Declan start it! how am I supposed to fill that hole that will be left....

People keep saying I am strong, at least mum has known my boys, not to look too much in the future - live in the now and logically I know that.... but really my heart is breaking and I can't get past all the hurt, anger, what if's, how will I be without my mum? I talk to mum about everything and I mean everything! To not have her to whinge, laugh, confide and cry with...There's no one like mum.

I haven't had a lot of loved ones pass away so far my closest being my pa some months ago and that was hard, what is this supposed to be like? We are a really close family. Yeah I am being selfish its all about me, mum must be feeling horrible, she has told me she is scared of leaving us...not of dying but leaving the hole that she knows by her passing is going to be there. I keep telling her we'll be ok, we will have each other to lean on, for her not to worry about it, to worry about herself. But will we really? for dad mum is everything, he puts her above us..he is going to be a mess, troy - I have no idea about, who am I supposed to turn to? Yes selfish once again. Dad will lean on me and I will always be there for him, I know my friends are always around whenever i need it and I love them for it but how am I supposed to be strong for my dad, my boys and myself....

How am I supposed to be strong without my mum...